september

september 2006
the summer fading out slowly
like the kindness of nature
letting us understand aging one grey hair at a time.
fell in love and it all over,
again,
in quick time swish like a friendly cow tail.
i think i knew when i looked into her shining smile that soon it would all change.
i thought about throwing me into the sea,
just then when it was all around me,
happiness,
before the enevitable plunge to the pit.
[see hairdressers husband] such is the stuff of film stars and not the truth of us mere flesh and blood,
so instead i watched with fascination as i fucked it up one more time.
wanted her so much that i blew it up
my own personal terror wrist.
so now alone again and writing in a truck on a mountain powered by the sun.
it is a fairy story life but with only a light salting of happy endings
at least my ex has stopped screaming blue murder in my face periodically and had me pissing my pants with fear
so many angry women when am i going to realise i need to stop finding my love of feist in others and do it myself.
starting group therapy and an ma in creative writing so now then lets see what that will be